The Life of Gang-Tae

I've been following Korean series in Netflix called It's Okay to Not Be Okay. The pace might too slow for certain people but I can relate to the storyline. It's sucks to always be the perfect gentleman and suppressed all the emotions you have inside. That's the price you have to pay when people set a high expectation on you. I used to be like that and keep reminding myself to balance it out. I need to love myself before I could help others. Gang-Tae experience the same things like me I guess. Always felt unwanted and unloved. His existence merely just to take care of others. Therefore, he stopped to has expectation on others.

Last two years, when I was battling with depression, I used think there is no point for me to live anymore. If people just expected me to take care of them but let me take all the blames, then why should I be there for them. There is no more purpose for me to be around. I did stop having expectation on others but later, slowly I'm realise, the problem was not them but me. I was letting them to control my life and trying to please them. So first, I need to help myself first by finding my purpose in life. Have I found it? Haha, not quite yet but at least I know my long term goal. Second, I need to learn to celebrate small successes. Don't be hard to myself.

I'm not sure when I started to realise this but this project really help me to grow to be a better person. I'm far from perfect but I know my mistakes. I have to thank people who are patiently helping me to survive this challenges. I'd pushing them away but they stay.

Comments

Ultrawide, 4K & Black Friday...

Post 11.11 mega sale, I've been thinking about buying an external laptop for my home office. The problem is I do have a 24 inch monitor but been trying to find a justification why I need to buy a new monitor. First, I think an external monitor with USB type C connector will be a great addition to my gadgets. I can easily connect & power up my HP laptop & Macbook without need to worry about cable management. But do I really need a new monitor at the first place? Whenever I found myself in an excessive behaviours of spending money, this is like an alarm that I need to really think before make any new purchases. It takes me a while to notice this but whenever I'm in the great stress, online shopping is like a distraction to my work problems. I bought a lot of unnecessary things and after 1-2 weeks, I'll be giving those items to others. People are happy with this because they going to get free stuffs but but end of the month, all my salary will be used just to pay my cr

Enjoy Your Life, Broaden Your World...

Don't judge others by your own standards. ... perhaps the type who does better when praised. What good is anything if you're dead? If someone dies, there's another to replace him. The basics of work is put yourself in others' shoes. If you're reprimanded every time you do something, you'd feel like quiting. We live in an era where we ought to respect everyone's different working style. Moreover, it doesn't mean that people who don't take days off would definitely produce results. When we were in school, we usually hang out with people with the same values, right? That's a good thing, but for work we have to cooperate with people who have totally different way of thinking, just to accomplish one thing. That's why it's interesting. Don't be a person who exists only for the company. Enjoy life. Meet all kind of people. Broaden your world. The accumulation of such experiences will lead to good results at work.

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